The time has come, to hashtag our way out of this mess. The advent of 2014 brought upon the greatest LOL in social media history, the #100happydays syndrome. It’s a disease, which has plagued our timelines with much aplomb. There is no cure, prevention isn’t an option either, and we’re outnumbered (*cue zombie scene from The Walking Dead*). This viral wildfire needs to be doused. If we can’t beat em’, lets join em’. It’s time to fight fire with fire. Its time…to stop exhausting all my idioms. It’s time for #50DaysTillDoom.
I’m not the only one who’s hating, you know it too, it’s dripping with lamesauce. A lot of people have been vociferous about their displeasure but that hasn’t offered a solution to the problem. There is no solution, why can’t fish fly? Exactly. It’s like diagnosing a terminal illness. The only way out is to show our support and solidarity to the brave grey cells that our friends and family have lost and will continue to lose till they complete their century of colossally cumbersome idiocy.
Now before this rant can continue, visit the website you must. It’s imperative. Once you’ve gone through it, understand you will (on a Yoda streak here) how brainwashed our near and dear ones have gotten. Below, a few points abetting the mind theft.
Questioning: They throw you off guard with a very simple and straightforward question, “Can you be happy 100 days in a row?” An answer isn’t warranted, they presume its rhetoric, and unleash the second question, a curve ball of emotional blackmail, “You don’t have time for this, right?” OBVIOUSLY WE DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS! But somehow, a few naïve souls managed to flounder and have gotten sucked into this vortex of waste.
Percentages: At least they’re honest, or claim to be; apparently 71% of the people who took this ‘challenge’ didn’t complete it. Kudos to you 71%, all hope in humanity is not lost! Then they cite the reason for the high percentage of flakes , “These people simply did not have the time to be happy, do you?” STRIKE TWO! Some more emotional blackmail. FYI, you don’t need to make time to be happy. The busiest people in the world are the happiest people, because they’re doing things with their time that already make them happy. Like me! I’m smug as a button typing this out, golly gosh goobers!
Reassuring B.S: Now that you’ve been made a lamb, they will give you some positive pointers on what happens to people that have completed the ‘challenge’. Those include, being in a better mood, appreciation in optimism levels ( which is kind of the same thing) and the sucker punch, FALL IN LOVE during the ‘challenge’, going once, going twice……SOLD!
Registration: Really? I need to REGISTER to be happy? What happened to the honesty? Just say you want my email address for your database that you will eventually sell to some ridiculous telecom company or sketchy insurance scheme. Losing brownie points guys!
So they’ve completed the cerebral coup, and also have your bio-data to boot *$$$*. Alright they’ve got some serious analytic work to do, so I guess it’s time you begin posting using the given joytag. God forbid your endorphin levels drop if you forget, it could be pretty catastrophic, type 2 LOL-abetes is lethal.
Now that we’re roughly half way through this charade, with no signs of things slowing down, we must unite. The posts just get stranger, odder, and weirder. How many mundane objects, places, things or people can you post about? You’re bound to hit a wall. This isn’t a ‘challenge’ to test if you can be happy; it’s a test of tenacity, will power, common sense and creativity. The pigeon at the window sill, the macchiato with the misspelled name by the Starbucks barista, the passed out watchman, the new bedazzled phone cover for your 5S, the last piece of Toblerone, is this TRULY making you HAPPY?
What happens once you’ve completed the #100happydays ‘challenge’, do you become unhappy? I’ll tell you what, just in case your world does implode upon yourself; we’re here with you, to be by your side if it does, just because we care about you so very, very much. Starting today, we, the good Samaritans of the social media circus, will post precisely the same things, things that are making us ‘happy’ TOO, but things we’re definitely going to miss once those hundred days are over. #50DaysTillDoom, consider it a lesser evil, but a much required one. Share,care, post and prepare! this is digital Armageddon.
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