Signs of Chivalry and What They Mean (Part 1) – Introducing Agony Bro

Girls, we’ve roped in someone from the opposition team, he’s on our side, he’s got our backs, and he’s got the answers. Here to dismantle anything that you’re over thinking and over fretting.  You’ve got a dilemma? He’s got the ammo. Questions you couldn’t ask your brother, shouldn’t ask your father or wouldn’t ask that poor ol’ BFF in the friendzone. To decode the male psyche, we introduce to you, Agony Bro.

Today he’s going to divulge what gestures of chivalry actually mean.  Boy, Disney got it all wrong!

Hello ladies!

Before I give you the low down, let me just brief you on the concept of chivalry. It’s a medieval code of conduct associated with knighthood.  Men aren’t of the same pedigree anymore, let’s face it, you’ll got short-changed. He might be your knight in shining armour, but he ain’t no Lancelot, Lancelot had game, I wish I was Lancelot.

Our world of chivalry doesn’t have swords, goblets and duels till the death, which would be pretty awesome though. It’s minus all the honour, valour and other scenes from Braveheart that I’m too lazy to type out. Plain and simple, it’s a mix based on upbringing and how eager he is to get into your pants.

I’m going to break it up into 3 stages where chivalry is applied – a) Just getting to know each other, b) Courting, and c) Relationship.

Each has its own degree of comfort and obviously indicates what he means when he makes those gestures. All men are wired the same; we just have different standards, requirements and levels of damage.

1.     Buying flowers:  

a) Just getting to know each other:  He’s making his intentions clear, if you respond positively he will continue these advances. End goal: your pants.


Start your engines

b) Courting:  He’s gotten somewhere by this point, be it mentally and/or physically, and he’s just reaffirming that he still thinks you’re special and would like to take things forward. If he does ONLY flowers and chocolates, he’s boring and lame, you can do better.

Sam sh*t, another day

Same sh*t, another day

c) Relationship: He’s a keeper! Guys lose steam once things have settled down, if he’s still doing this he wants to keep that spark alive. Lock him down.


2.     Opening doors:*

*Notice if he opens the door for other women too, be it your friends, or his, or random aunties, doesn’t matter, he should let them precede. If you’re getting special treatment here, he’s trying extra hard to go there (your pants).

a) Just getting to know each other:  Well brought up! Send his mommy a thank you note.

Round of applause

Round of applause

b) Courting:  Again, upbringing! Mom’s the word.



c) Relationship: Yep, same answer, third time’s a charm.

Yep, standing ovation

Standing ovation, maybe?


 3. Making sure you get home OK/Checking once you’re home

a) Just getting to know each other:  He wants to show you that he’s concerned and protective about you.


b) Courting:  It’s part of the routine now.


c) Relationship:  Consider it collateral damage.



4. Helping with bags and heavy objects

a) Just getting to know each other: If he does it without asking or insists on it, he’s interested in you. If he offers before he picks them up he’s just well mannered.


b) Courting: Obviously he doesn’t want you to chip a nail. Lets call it perks of the woo.


c) Relationship: You’re making him a sandwich.


Need some advice from the Agony Bro? Write in your love, life, and other queries at . We’ll try and feature your story next, don’t worry it’ll be anonymous.

Don’t forget to tweet to us at @get_inonit.

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