9 Types of People You Meet at the Gym
This world is full of stereotypes. They exist in sync in different parts of the universe, doing that (stereotypical) thing they do. In this article, we decode the 9 types of people you meet at the gym, and if you cannot think of someone who is one of the below, then it’s probably you. Cross your fingers and read on to find out.
The Musty Skunk
A dead rat smothered in stale garlic paste working out in the gym would smell like lavender blooms in front of this guy. The smell of bathrooms at Mumbai local train platforms can be used as air freshners in front of him. The stench of The Musty Skunk can take you to a level of unconsciousness where everything else may disappear but the smell remains. It remains with you till days on end, until a bus hits you; you get a memory lapse and forget you ever stood next to the skunk! Shower is a word alien to him. Please be reading this Mr. Skunk.
Samara, the eerie girl with long hair covering her face from the epic horror movie ‘The Ring’ felt lost after she got out of your TV screen, so she decided to enter your body and thrive there. We really cannot blame you then, if we watch you ‘letting your hair loose’ and working that treadmill like you’re a death metal rockstar head-banging on stage. Your Samara-ness is at its peak at the gym, and our nights are filled with nightmares. Ever heard of a scrunchy, missy?
The Plastic Barbie
She’s got the perfect blow-dried hair; she wears Gucci’s latest gym-wear collection and her make-up is spot on. She’s all set to burn the ramp, the dance floor, or Ken’s heart, but somehow she manages to lose her way every time and enters your gym. She does a touch-up and lounges about before finally getting on the cycle, and after 15 minutes hits the sauna. And you follow (“you” being all heterosexual members of the male species).
The Wife Beater in a Tank Top
You have considered asking him from where he got that bright neon tank top, or how he breathes in it. But you’re afraid with his muscles popping out of every hole in that top, he might be a wife-beater and you refrain from making any contact at all.
The STFU Please
You probably dreamed of being a talk show host, because all you can do is talk. With me. At the gym. At 7 am. While lifting weights. STFU. Please.
The Social Media Junkie
If you are active on social media platforms, don’t share your handle with her/him. They will Foursquare you, Facebook you, Tweet to you, Instagram you, Social Media the hell out of you every time you exchange hellos at the gym. They might even snap a picture of you while you’re not looking and the next thing you know, you will get a notification that reads something like “Workin’ it at the gym with my #bestie in the background. #motivation #bestietime #gymtime #workit #stronger #better #faster #PLEASESTOPHASHTAGGING!
The #Selfie Dude
Do clear the way for the wanna-be actor/photographer/model/fitness freak/narcissist when he’s standing in front of the mirror pre and post his workout to take a #Selfie. After all, the reflective shot has to be perfect for his before and after collage on Instagram, and you being in the background means more #Selfies till he gets that perfect shot.
The Social Butterfly
Life’s a party is what his/her T-shirt reads. But is the gym really the venue, you wonder? This guy/girl not only knows almost every person on every machine in your gym, but also knows why your boyfriend dumped you last month. The real form of exercise for The Social Butterfly is fluttering his/her way to every corner of the gym, greeting people and chatting them up till they have enough information to last them through the day.
The THE Man
He’s truly The Man. The epitome of fitness. The serious-look giver. The man who you don’t want to mess with. The man whose vocal cords are missing (according to you) because he’s never uttered a word at the gym. The coolest of the lot, with muscles boiling out of every part of his body. You’re THE Man. We would love to lock you up with The Social Butterfly, The STFU Please, or even The Skunk. That should get a reaction out of you!
Describe the types of people you’ve met at the gym by tweeting to us @get_inonit and @snehasaysso.