Agony Bro – Going The Distance


Dear Agony Bro,

I have been seeing this guy since about 4 odd years. I’m 22 and he’s 23, our parents know about it and it’s pretty serious. He’s recently moved to another city so we are in a long distance relationship. Suddenly, he seems very tied up. We are barely speaking for a few minutes for days together. He even forgot my birthday and my friend had to remind him to wish me. Is it that he’s not interested? Or he’s genuinely busy settling in a new city and new job? Help.




Hello Troubled,

Firstly, well done on keeping things afloat for 4 whole years, it’s a mini-milestone if you ask me. Secondly, long distance is the equivalent of Sachin Tendulkar at his prime, FYI you’re in the opposition team, let’s just say it’s an uphill task from the get go.

Secondly, If he’s just moved give him some time to breathe, he’s probably going bananas figuring out his bearings and since it’s been that long he assumes you’d understand, the caring and sweet girlfriend that you are. Another plausibility, he’s enjoying his freedom, let the child live a little. Now my only concern is he’s gone completely MIA since the move and if you’re the one initiating those few minutes of sweet nothings it could be a bit of a worry. Forgetting birthdays are a red flag too, he’s had 4 years to perfect the art of remembrance, unless he’s had a mild amnesia attack or he’s always had the brain grasp of a goldfish, he doesn’t have a good excuse.

Now if things don’t bounce back to normal in a few weeks, which in all likelihood will happen, here is the alternative outcome. He’s used the guise of skipping town for work in order to strangle the air out of this relationship.  Assuming that you two haven’t had a discussion on where things were headed in terms of his career, your career and the relationship, also how these things will co-exist. And if he can’t grow a pair and have ‘the talk’, you need to grow one, figuratively speaking of course. As you said, things are pretty serious with even the parents involved. We aren’t asking him to put a ring on it, just some clarity in terms of the direction, 4 years is 4 years, investing more time with no surety of progress is a bad idea. Simply put, you can warrant answers if he’s dilly dallying, have the chat, figure it out, and be adults. Just don’t drabble yourself over it, he’s still a boy, find a man or make him one.

Wish you luck, love, and air miles.

Toodles poodles,



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