Agony Bro – Romance or Nomance?
Dear Agony Bro,
I’m in a long distance relationship since over a year. Everything is seemingly perfect; my man visits me every few months, insists on speaking with me every day, sends gifts and does everything romantic. However, my problem is that he is TOO romantic, to a point where I don’t get space. I’m a practical person and while all this was great in the beginning, I’m starting to get sick of honeymoon phase. Besides I’m not that romantic, I REALLY don’t think I can do all these things for him. Talking every day, sending him V-Day gifts and all. Bro, help a woman out – am I being unreasonable (cause some women would die for this sh*t)?
Sleep deprived by late night calls
How are you today? Hope the weather is affable. I’ll tell you something though, you aren’t the only one in this predicament. Most girls complain that their significant others aren’t romantic enough. But if every girl watched The Notebook and all the Disney movies, deciding that life should be this fairytale, we’d have a lot more suicides and single people around.
Truth be told, some guys are romantic, some guys aren’t. You’re just born with it. Women I think like the idea of romance more than the romance itself. Romance is this fantasy world where you can roleplay in your head, therefore the execution, timing, intensity and suspense is up to you, when in reality you have no control over any of these.
The problem is, the boys who are into the whole romance and roleplay saga are also probably Star Wars geeks or closet ones at least. They don’t know when to draw the line. Yes, very intelligent, very well read but sometimes socially very obscure. It’s simple, if you think he’s overdoing it, tell him. Be nice about it, I’m sure he’ll cut down. Make it clear that he shouldn’t expect the same level of reciprocation because you just don’t know how to keep up. If he understands and is willing to continue let it be, enjoy the pampering. If he likes things to be that intense and fluffy then maybe try and meet him halfway.
If he thinks he’s Marshall and you’re his Lily, play along or burst the bubble. Just make things CLEAR, tell him what you can do, and what you can’t. Like if you need sleep and he needs sweet nothings, come to a settlement. He can call earlier or he has to shorten the duration of the baby talk. Don’t get unsettled. Communicate, and implement.
Final tip: Avoid the rom-com movie nights, you’d unleash a beast.
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