Agony Bro – Signs of Chivalry and What They Mean (Part 2)

Welcome back, this is Chivalry Decoded Part Deux. As explained before, the purpose of this psycho analysis is to help you understand your suitor.  These aren’t stereotypes, it’s the truth. I just hope its not too bitter a pill to swallow.

As before I’m going to break it up into 3 stages where chivalry is applied – 1. Just getting to know each other, 2. Courting, and 3. Relationship.

Each has its own degree of comfort and obviously indicates what he means when he makes those gestures. All men are wired the same; we just have different standards, requirements and levels of damage.

5. Lending his jacket when you’re cold.

Just getting to know each other:  If he offers, he’s being thoughtful.  If he doesn’t, he’s freezing his nards off!

Lending his jacket when you're cold

Courting:  If he throws his jacket around you, either he can see you’re feeling cold or he wants to add some heat of his own to an already chilly situation. If he just offers, you guessed it, he’s freezing his nards off.

Courting The Girl

Relationship: If he offers, keep him!

Keeping The Man In A Relationship If He Offers It

6. Getting the tab if it’s a date

Just getting to know each other:  First date, he pays. This is reverse chivalry; lots of guys want to see if you offer to pay your share. We won’t let you pay, but if it’s a genuine offer we appreciate it. Don’t fake it though, we can smell B.S.

Bullshit

Courting:  If he’s paying for all the dates, he expects you to be putting out a lot more. Again, always offer. We know when a girl wants to be with us for our money. Even if we don’t, we have friends who will tell us.

Can I Buy You A Drink - Animated Gifs

Relationship:  Sitting at home watching sitcom re-runs in your PJs is not a date. Yes, it’s his duty to go pop the microwave corn. On a serious note, you should always offer your share as and when you can. If he insists on paying, let him, but the offer must be genuine.

Well atleast its not raining - Animated Gif 

7. Him being on time and then being tolerant when you aren’t

Just getting to know each other: He’s quite punctual or an eager beaver. Now’s the time to be late, he won’t bring it up, especially if he’s into you.

We seem to be made to suffer. Its our lot in life - Animated Gifs

Courting:  He’s been raised by a sergeant, and he expects compensation when you miss his time bus and make him wait.

I be on my suit and the shit - Animated Gifs

Relationship: This permutation doesn’t exist. You make him wait today, next time you’re the sitting duck.

C9

8. Offers compliments on your outfit/hair

Just getting to know each other:  He’s hitting on you. Period.

How You Doing - Joey - Animated Gif

Courting:  He’s being nice to you and showing you that he’s observant. Also, he wants you to say nice things back to him as well. C’mon we shave, throw on way too much cologne and nip our nose hair too!

Animated Gif - Man

Relationship: HE NOTICED?

Animated Gif - Girl

Need some advice from the Agony Bro? Write in your love, life, and other queries at features@inonit.in . We’ll try and feature your story next. Don’t worry, it’ll be anonymous.

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