Five Things Guys Over Wear and What It Says About His Personality

Disclaimer: No male egos were harmed during the R&D of this article.

It’s common knowledge that most men tend to lack basic style sense. Leniency is always given; let’s say it’s hereditary, after all our grandfathers still think it’s cool to rock out that safari suit. They do try and make an effort though, fixing themselves up according to the occasion. Then sometimes guys find a certain loophole wherein a dress code isn’t enforced. Commence exploitation and garment sacrilege.

1. Logo Guy: Someone forgot to learn their alphabets in preschool clearly. These guys need to remind themselves about it by ensuring almost all articles of clothing provide some form of recollection. From their belt, to shoes to shirt, that brand insignia provides a consistent eye sore. They will wear this when they go to the gym, when they sleep, when they go over to a friend’s house for a casual night of poker, they even wear this at funerals. Yes, you! With the white polo neck and blue horse silhouette crest, we mourn for you too.

What it says: He’s probably materialistic, deriving confidence from his impending trust fund, got it too easy and is obviously enjoying his privileges. If he’s smart, he’s cocky. If he isn’t he’s just rich. Meh.

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2. Body Fit Guy: This Desi Guido has pumped in time, protein shakes, egg whites and all the other ancillaries required to attain that rippling physique.  Credit is due, we appreciate the effort.  Very few people take care of their bodies with such passion.  They just need to stop buying clothes from the children’s section. Donning a suit makes his shoulder pads look like the Petronas Towers. Those fitted shirts with buttons about to burst at even the slightest involuntarily pectoral flex. We don’t need them turning into trajectory missiles.

What it says: His vanity quotient is jostling with Paris Hilton’s. He’s confident about his body, but we aren’t about his conversation skills. If you can relate to Snooki, you can relate with him.

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3. Office Shirt Guy:  He’s the good guy, supremely focused, probably to the point of being married to his job. He’s reserved, shy and caring once he opens up. The only problem about this guy is he plays it too safe, and safe = BORING. That Surf Excel whiteness or khaki trousers is beyond repetitive. How do you expect to go to a nightclub in office formals and then whine about going home all alone? Get your game face on son, you’re in short supply but unknowingly in serious demand. Add some colour, and up that mojo.

What it says:  He’s a bit unsure of himself, doesn’t think he can carry a lot off, probably not a risk taker, hence a perennial friend zone favourite. If you’re looking for that fixer-upper, pick him, not that sleeve tatted douche.

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4. Denim Jeans Guy:  Someone did build a time machine, but we weren’t let in on it (no pun intended). This chap is still stuck in the 90s, a time where jeans were gospel for every occasion. This brave trend crusader is trying to bring it back in vogue but failing, one embarrassing day at a time. From sundowner brunches to outdoor festival gigs, his valiant efforts are not going unnoticed.  Though we do judge his friends who won’t break the news to him that it’s a lost cause.

What it says: He’s not observant at all. Hence clueless on a lot of levels, but it doesn’t stop him from being nonchalant about it. He’s the Baba Seghal of our time, just a male anomaly.

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5. Shorts Guy:  When you think of shorts, you think of a beach. That’s where the shorts wearers’ state of mind is usually at. He’s laid back, chilled out, and has a hint of swag. He misuses the opportunity to wear shorts primarily due to comfort reasons, also he could be lazy. Always showing up for house parties and dinners in half pants is a telltale sign. They also try and find work where this would be condoned occasionally.

What it says: They rely on cerebral talent to compensate for their lack of attire, always fun to talk to, understated confidence is innate.  A prerequisite, someone to give them a little push every now and again. Yes, a little nagging won’t hurt this boy.

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