The Indian Wedding Survival Guide
Do you have to attend a shaadi soon? Of course you do! This is India, and weddings are our national pastime. Not that I’m complaining, I love weddings. I blame Yash Chopra and Karan Johar for my undying love for weddings and everything that comes with them. Having said that, you have to agree, weddings do bring with them a lot of pressures. Pressure to look your best, pressure to be in style, pressure to remember all the possible aunties and uncles (by name and relation), so on and so forth. This is precisely why, before the wedding season takes us by a complete gold-laden, pressure-ridden storm, we bring you a list of must-haves to survive the tidal wave. Tips, tricks and ideas that will make you the toast of every wedding to come, a.k.a the wedding survival guide.
Have A Game Plan
We all know how December and January can be a big flurry of parties. One tends to mix up dates, forget venues and even miss events all together. The trick is to just be a little organized. There is no shame in pulling out an organizer, and literally marking your schedule. Write down what you have to attend when, where and with whom. If possible, go one step ahead and write down what you plan to wear just so that the dry cleaning schedule can be taken care of as well. This will help you with salon appointments, tailor fittings and last minute shopping too. So that you are well turned out at the wedding, start early. Nothing happens without preparation dahling, and you know that better than we do.
Gold Never Gets Old
You don’t live under a rock; you surely know that gold rules the roost today. No wedding is complete without its fair share of bling. Even the most understated communities have been inspired by Bollywood and now tend to have all the bling and shor sharaba at their weddings. So don’t be shy of gold. Certain statement pieces like a gold clutch and gold shoes will help you complete most of your weddings looks. The only tip here is, shop smart. Choose a design that ought to go with most outfits. Your clutch should be big enough to carry your keys, smart phone and money. And make sure your shoes are comfortable. Try wedge heels instead of stilettos so that they give you the advantage of added height but are easier on the soles. Yes, you can thank me later.
Nail the look
Part of completing your look is your make up. Most of us pay attention to our lipsticks and mascaras, but forget the little touches like nail polish. You don’t want to be the girl with the ugly nails. Let’s pretend we don’t care about that, but we all do. And the minute someone shows up with a ghastly colour or chipped nails, it doesn’t leave our well-trained eye. So don’t be that girl. Invest in a couple of good shades by good brands that will last you the whole wedding season. Tip: The fast dry ones are going to save you time and energy, both of which you need desperately, so please go for those. They are perfect to even carry with yourself so that one chip here and there can easily be mended. Because your spoilt mood on the other hand will be much tougher to mend.
Your Chance To Dance
YOLO, or You Only Live Once has been all the rage everyone’s talking about. Well, according to me it’s time to apply it. There are a lot of us who think we can’t dance, or think it’s too uncool. Well, let me break it to you sister. NOBODY cares. Please dance when you attend a wedding, no matter who you are or how old you are. Don’t be a well turned out doll who looks the part but is also too plastic to move. Be the life of the party, be the girl who can dance. You only listen to English music? Well then, let this be a first. Take a Bollywood dance class, watch videos, and exploit Youtube. You will figure it out, just like you figure everything else in life girl. Remember, YOLO!
Awkward Conversations 101
Now this tip here is special. You won’t find any cheat code for Indian weddings available anywhere. (Let’s take an emotional pause for just how original we are.)
Weddings are full of awkward conversations and one can never be too prepared. So the next time you meet an uncle or aunty who asks if you recognize them, put on your best-dazzling-fake smile and say, “Aunty, I think so but I was too small. You remember how small I was naa?”
May sound absurd, but trust me the crisis has been averted and ball safely back in their court. At this point I can almost guarantee that said aunty will launch back into reminiscing just how much you’ve grown up now and how different you look.
When people ask you if you are married, and the answer happens to be no, look firmly in their direction, smile plastered on your face and say, ‘Oh! No guy has been that lucky yet’.
Yes, annoying, persistent people will go on if they have to but that’s only 10% of them. The rest will shut up and giggle at your joke and move on.
When someone asks you why you are not eating or insist you eat, LIE. Yes, lie. This is a completely acceptable time to lie through your teeth and say you have just eaten or you are about to eat. Your body can only take in so much food (greasy and oily at that) and in true Indian style, everyone will want to feed you, especially if you are an important person at the wedding (sister of groom, best friend of bride, etc).
The best and most important tip to survive awkward conversations at weddings is to always have a hip flask. I shall not elucidate further on this point, but trust me the conversation will flow just as smoothly as the liquids in the container. *Hic* and Cheers to a stress free wedding season!
The Energy Crisis
You need some real energy to survive all those late nights and subsequent work days. So don’t ignore certain things like a good night’s sleep and your vitamins. Also, there will be a time crunch but don’t ignore your exercise or yoga routine completely. The only way to truly enjoy the fabled madness of the Big Fat Indian wedding is to glow through it all, to have the energy, to look the part and to be happy.
We’ve tried to cover all of that in our Survival Guide. Let us know what you think? And if you have tips to add, we’d be happy to do so.