You Know You’re A Mumbai Local Train Traveller When…
Hey y’all, fellow public transport users. Today we will have you reflect upon the valuable life lessons you have/will learn from travelling in a local train. Experts in the field (that would be me and all my train-ee homies) believe that the theory ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ was derived after an intensive case study of travellers in a Mumbai local train. They (us) are the mighty brave ones. So here you go – let the nodding and “OMG that’s so true” begin! You know you’re a Mumbai local train traveller when…
1. 50 shades of grey is the sort of ‘self-help’ book that REALLY helps keep middle-aged women stay calm in the train. Thank you author E.L. James, for creating Christian Grey, for you keep those catty claws in Virar locals busy.
2. You have mastered the art of sleeping while standing and not even Avicii can ‘wake you up’ from this blissful nap.
3. You can compete in the Guinness Book of World Records for holding your breath for the longest time. You have had enough practice when every day of your life the train halts at the legendary Dadar station. One thing you will never learn, though, is to stay immune to the stench that travels in the air around the public toilets around these stations. Experts are still trying to figure that out.
4. You could seriously sell a kidney to get a tiny little slot where you could place your bum or rest your back.
5. You’re one of the few people in the world who has experienced a mobile shopping mall, and succumbed to it. From groceries to fancy hairclips, from vada pavs to Sydney Sheldon books at a 70% discount, from foldable bags to nail-art tools, from dramatic rings to even Kanjeevaram saris, they have it all!
6. You have mastered the art of being patient courtesy the annoying ready-to-kill women in the trains. Getting into a state of zen with your headphones on is something you never knew was possible before you entered the Mumbai local train. You are now on your way to achieve enlightenment and eventually turning into Kungfu Panda.
7. You can never really get over the amusement of watching a 40-something stuff a whole packet of Lays, a wada pav AND a fruit in her mouth all in the span of 5 minutes.
8. Thanks to the train announcer, you finally know your city geography at the tip of your tongue. Agla station, Cotton Green…
9. You can finally tell the athletic kids in school to shove it as they watch you in awe when you win the race to catch the train every time. You can now easily manage to run a mile with a minute to go for the train to start. When’s the next Marathon?
Always remember, time and train waits for no man!
For your convenience: here’s a map of the Mumbai local.