Life Without Social Media – 16 Things That Will Happen
Hypothetically speaking, what would happen if all social media platforms ( we’re ripping on only Facebook, Twitter & Instagram for this) crashed one day and ceased to exist? Will the human race survive? Gruesome and morbid as this thought might be, we must be prepared, prepared for the apocalypse! *cue shrill screams*
1) Birthday bummer: No one will remember, no one will wish you.
2) Checking-in: You will physically have to call/text your entire friend list (assuming you have all their contact details, which you don’t) and tell them you’re at an airport, a hotel, a restaurant, a mall and other places which you don’t really need to ‘check-in’ to begin with.
3) Hashtaging: This will become redundant. R.I.P #
4) Stalking: Probably the greatest loss to us all. How will we ever keep tabs on our crush, ex, current, tentative future partners? It was the Yellow Pages of life!
5) What’s for lunch? : YOU WILL NEVER KNOW!
6) Hyper hitched: How will we be able to ‘Like’ or type a forced congratulatory message on an engagement/marriage status that we never gave a sh*t about to begin with?
7) SELFIE: Only a mirror will ever see the Duckface. Depressing times guys, depressing times.
8) Candy Crushed: Invitations will have to be sent by mail, lives won’t be given, and addicts will need rehabilitation.
9) Freedom from 140 characters: Inculcating terrible grammar and poor diction into the next generation will be almost impossible. Major #FOMO!
10) Albums: No one will see your holiday pictures. Why travel anyway, right?
11) Actual social interaction: Guess we might have to ACTUALLY socialize now. I had 84,050 followers, now I have 0.3 friends.
12) Filters: Pictures will never be the same. #nofilter
13) Love professing: Couples will have to figure out ingenious ways for being publicly gross and lame at the same time.
14) Stop Watch: We will have to waste time exercising, reading, playing games, interacting with humans and just other trivial life pursuits.
15) Conversations: We will have NOTHING to talk about! All our fodder came from our timelines.
16) Economic Turmoil: Apart from the social media websites, trendy ‘Digital Marketing’ start-ups and other ancillary industries will be out of business. WhatsApp? Just a figment of your $19 billion imagination.
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