Lost At Etiquette: 15 Things We Need to Learn or Stop Doing
Call it part of our effervescent culture, or a global phenomenon that caught on really quickly and then stuck in our country. There are a few annoying things that we do, everyday, like EVERYDAY. Which has got to stop, or be berated upon. Chuckle up!
1. Lift Barrage: Guys, common sense. Let us EXIT, before you enter the elevator. By you charging in like a raging bull you aren’t going to move up any quicker. This isn’t a Virar (F) train, save the ninja skills for later.
2. Waiter Gator: Although your domestic help might respond to a whistle call, the effective yet crass ‘Oye! Idhar aao’ and other generic profanity, try and save someone else who isn’t employed by you those pleasantries. FYI, karma is a b*tch.
3. Spitting: More than the action its the sound effects, that Dolby surround sound in your throat isn’t soothing to our ears. Hold it in, find a restroom, do your deed. Got it? Thanks.
4. Chewing: If you’re trying to emulate the Orbit White cow, you’re nailing the re-enactment. If you think your gums are your best asset, by all means flaunt them. But if you have food in your mouth just keep it closed.
5. Honking: When you incessantly honk and create that orchestra of torture, the driver in front of starts to panic. Panic doesn’t let you think quickly. Imagine a domino effect of panic. Now you see why silence is golden?
6. Digging Nose/Ears: Hey, you know which orifice you should actually stick your finger in? Well you might as well; unsanitary as you already are we won’t judge you….any further.
7. Littering: Ok we all do it sometimes, your movie ticket stub or a bill receipt is condoned. But when you chuck your half eaten Happy Meal out the car window, even Ronald McDonald will look upon you with scorn.
8.Line-cutting: I don’t know who started this, I don’t know how it caught on but if you think you can’t wait your turn like everyone else, I think I can’t resist kicking you in the shin. Call it a knee-jerk reflex if you will. Whoops!
9. Staring: Is my face that hypnotic? Have I possessed you with my piercing eyes? Why you be all up in my grill! Steal a glance if you must, just don’t exhaust your lifetime creep quota at one go.
10. Staring into Phones: It’s called a PERSONAL handheld device for a reason. Do not read what I’m texting, do not lean over me while I’m reading a text, and do not ask me ‘aree ye kya hai?’ My phone isn’t a people magnet and I barely know you buddy.
11.Pinky Finger Holding: Why stay at the first base of bromance? GO ALL THE WAY, interlock fingers if you must. It just looks a lot less weird.
12.Bobble Head: Thanks to Apu from the Simpsons, the great Indian bobble head has become a worldwide stereotype. If it’s a genetic mutation it’s pardonable, if not, just practice in front of a mirror 3 times a week.
13.Indian Standard Time: DO NOT TELL ME YOU’RE REACHING IN 5 MINUTES! It’s a lie, you know it, I know it, we all know it.
14. Personal Questions: Yes aunty, you met me ONE time when I was 3 years old, I do not remember you, I don’t want to either, and NO I’m not getting married, nor am I looking, nor am I going to meet your uncle’s cousin’s nephew.
15. Sharing the Same Straw: Ok this might not be a big deal for other people, but will you just ASK first before you can infect my cola with your germs. I’m not going to say no, I just want to prepare myself for the heart attack.
Any other faux pas that you think we’ve missed? Tweet to us or share in comments below.
Don’t forget to tweet to us at @get_inonit.
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