Lost At Etiquette: 15 Things We Need to Learn or Stop Doing

Call it part of our effervescent culture, or a global phenomenon that caught on really quickly and then stuck in our country. There are a few annoying things that we do, everyday, like EVERYDAY. Which has got to stop, or be berated upon. Chuckle up!

1. Lift Barrage: Guys, common sense. Let us EXIT, before you enter the elevator. By you charging in like a raging bull you aren’t going to move up any quicker.  This isn’t a Virar (F) train, save the ninja skills for later.


2. Waiter Gator: Although your domestic help might respond to a whistle call, the effective yet crass ‘Oye! Idhar aao’ and other generic profanity, try and save someone else who isn’t employed by you those pleasantries. FYI, karma is a b*tch.


3. Spitting: More than the action its the sound effects, that Dolby surround sound in your throat isn’t soothing to our ears. Hold it in, find a restroom, do your deed.  Got it? Thanks.


4. Chewing: If you’re trying to emulate the Orbit White cow, you’re nailing the re-enactment. If you think your gums are your best asset, by all means flaunt them. But if you have food in your mouth just keep it closed.


5. Honking: When you incessantly honk and create that orchestra of torture, the driver in front of starts to panic. Panic doesn’t let you think quickly. Imagine a domino effect of panic. Now you see why silence is golden?


6. Digging Nose/Ears: Hey, you know which orifice you should actually stick your finger in? Well you might as well; unsanitary as you already are we won’t judge you….any further.


7. Littering: Ok we all do it sometimes, your movie ticket stub or a bill receipt is condoned. But when you chuck your half eaten Happy Meal out the car window, even Ronald McDonald will look upon you with scorn.


8.Line-cutting: I don’t know who started this, I don’t know how it caught on but if you think you can’t wait your turn like everyone else, I think I can’t resist kicking you in the shin. Call it a knee-jerk reflex if you will. Whoops!


9. Staring:  Is my face that hypnotic? Have I possessed you with my piercing eyes? Why you be all up in my grill! Steal a glance if you must, just don’t exhaust your lifetime creep quota at one go.


10. Staring into Phones: It’s called a PERSONAL handheld device for a reason. Do not read what I’m texting, do not lean over me while I’m reading a text, and do not ask me ‘aree ye kya hai?’ My phone isn’t a people magnet and I barely know you buddy.


11.Pinky Finger Holding:  Why stay at the first base of bromance? GO ALL THE WAY, interlock fingers if you must. It just looks a lot less weird.


12.Bobble Head: Thanks to Apu from the Simpsons, the great Indian bobble head has become a worldwide stereotype. If it’s a genetic mutation it’s pardonable, if not, just practice in front of a mirror 3 times a week.


13.Indian Standard Time: DO NOT TELL ME YOU’RE REACHING IN 5 MINUTES! It’s a lie, you know it, I know it, we all know it.


14. Personal Questions: Yes aunty, you met me ONE time when I was 3 years old, I do not remember you, I don’t want to either, and NO I’m not getting married, nor am I looking, nor am I going to meet your uncle’s cousin’s nephew.


15. Sharing the Same Straw: Ok this might not be a big deal for other people, but will you just ASK first before you can infect my cola with your germs. I’m not going to say no, I just want to prepare myself for the heart attack.


Any other faux pas that you think we’ve missed? Tweet to us or share in comments below.

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