You’ve probably complained about boyfriends who just don’t give you time, just don’t listen, or in general don’t seem very much into you. Now, along comes a stranger who takes your breath away, and then some. But what happens when instead of being the cool, suave Darcy you want, you get a bubbling mess of a Ted Mosby?
Well, if you do come across one, ladies, all is not lost. First, find out if you have a clingy boyfriend, and if you do, how to make him a bit more worthy of being kept around in your life. Set things straight before the Valentine month rolls out, eh?
1. Sweet Nothings
Just your third or the fourth date and he is already messaging you sweet nothings (awww), all the time (nooo)!
At first it’s cute, when he messages you in the morning, or at lunch but then it seems like he’s hounding you with your phone. You can’t even go to the loo or go for a meeting or even eat without your phone buzzing away with one more made up name for you. Houston, we have a problem.
Fix it: Talk to him and tell him about your schedule. Appreciate him for his gesture, and work out a time where in it would be alright for him to text you.
2. I Love You-s
So, he has said I love you (awww); he is waiting to hear you say it (more awww); he wants you to say it in 30 different ways, 24 hours a day (nooo)! Your man is in need of constant reassurance.
Finally, he has said the three magic words that most men fear to say out loud to any woman except for their mother. And then, it gets a bit worse. He seems to chant it all day long like a prayer, until you can’t really take it anymore. But then, that’s not when the neediness actually starts. He wants you to say it, in a million different ways every single day. Too bad you didn’t take up two or three foreign languages in school, because he scours the internet looking for another way to say it, and really, you’ve gotten the point, and you wish he wasn’t so insecure too get the point either.
Fix it: Appreciate and compliment him in public and private, let him know that you do have true feelings for him and do love him. You may speak to him compassionately and offer your side of the story.
3. Don’t Leave Me
He changes his schedule to spend more time with you (awww); he never goes out without you (nooo).
If your boyfriend complains about you spending time with your ladies, or wants to be there with you at every party, movie, dinner, lunch, bed time, etc. it will positively drive you insane.
Fix it: Encourage him to go out with his friends. The first few times you may plan and join him, eventually you may ask him to go alone. If he has a set of friends of his own, he will not cling to your friends.
4. Green-eyed Monster
He inquires about your exes and men you hang out with, as a concern (awww); he doubts you are having an affair with the chaiwala, because you spoke with him for 3 whole minutes (nooo).
It is a bit of a let-down when he is jealous of your male platonic friends. You feel like shaking him by his shoulders and asking him if he’s losing his mind. And then, the final straw: when he asks to read your SMSes, Facebook password and Twitter DMs. That’s when you know that your cute, cuddly puppy-eyed man is a raging serial killer waiting to happen.
Fix it: You need to give him confidence in your relationship. Make an extra effort to spend time with him, be romantic, etc. And then, you may firmly put your foot down when it comes to your male friends and colleagues.
5. The Big Question
He went on his knees and popped the question (awww); he did this on the second date (nooo).
Most of us dream of finding the right guy who will get down on his knee and ask the question, and when that magical moment happens, you’re on top of the world. Except when this guy does it, you’re expecting dinner and it’s your second date. Ladies, if a man is talking to you about marriage and kids even before you know each other well enough to order food for each other, you might have an excellent story to tell your friends later, about dating a nutcase.
Fix it: When he brings the long term commitment topic, try to avoid it and make it obvious. If he does ask, tell him honestly you are not ready. Appreciate him for being a great guy, but also mention that you need your space to be sure.
6. Too Much, Too Soon
He made a handmade card for V-day (awww); he sends one red rose, a pastry and personalized gift to your office, every week (nooo).
When a socially mandated moment comes along, you know that you should expect some token of love from your man, except this man doesn’t completely understand a limit to giving. Just like his sweet nothings, you find your desk coated with flowers, cards, poems and candy (OK, we don’t really mind the candy) and it keeps coming, burying you under a mountain of confetti. But that mountain is nothing compared to his mountain of expectations, when he expects you to do something for him in return. Can you feel the walls closing in, ladies?
Fix it: Tell him you love the attention and the gifts, but would prefer if it were rare, so that you may feel more special and valued. In short, a better way of saying, “Chill out, dude.”